In recent years, coaching has gained significant traction as a powerful tool for personal and professional development. However, many people still find themselves unsure about what coaching truly involves. If you’ve heard the term bandied about but haven’t had the chance to work with a coach, this guide is for you. Let’s explore what coaching is, what it isn’t, and how it can make a difference in your life.
Coaching in Sport
Coaching in sport has long been established at every level. Having someone who is able to watch, listen and observe and then give you feedback, is standard. This never stops. Even the top players in the world still use a coach – there is always a benefit. You wouldn’t hear Andy Murray say that he was good enough and therefore would not benefit from a coach. The thought is ludicrous in sport and is actually ludicrous in life and work. The other notable thing about sports coaches is that they weren’t necessarily highly successful in the field that they are coaching in. Sometimes they are, but often not. They know the sport well and the mechanics of it and can get brilliance out of their coachee, but were unable to replicate that themselves. Conversely, we can all think of gifted sportspeople who were unable to coach successfully. This makes me think of Ted Lasso. If you don’t know the series, he is brought in from the USA to coach and manage a Premier league football club. He has no idea about the sport and has only previously coached American College Football, but was very successful. He and his coach read around the sport of course, but it is their approach and their philosophy that makes all the difference to these already gifted footballers.
In 1974 Timothy Gallwey published The Inner Game of Tennis, a written version of the methods he used as a tennis coach. Billy Jean King refers to it as ‘her bible’ and it is an approach to improving your game through confidence and self-actionable methods rather than being told what and what not to do. This approach is often heralded as the beginning of coaching in settings other than sport.
Coaching vs Counselling
Often, counselling is the only route offered to people who need or want support, but rather than exploring the past in order to explain the present, coaching takes you from where you are now and projects into the future. Coaching is about raising confidence and finding ways forward from what is already within your grasp. It’s about getting over barriers that you are putting in your own way and changing beliefs in your abilities that are currently limiting you. Sometimes, people have had counselling sessions and have a much better understanding of what makes them tick and now they are ready to move forward with this new found knowledge. Often, people find out a huge amount about themselves through coaching and this becomes their superpower.
Coaching vs Mentoring
Mentoring is a valuable support, aimed at upskilling the person who is being mentored as quickly as possible. Mentors are knowledgeable about their subject and can advise about specifics and help the mentee to sidestep potential problems and fastrack them in their chosen field. A mentor is someone you can ask questions to and who can advise you. Coaching is more about drawing out what is already in you. It’s about raising your confidence rather than imparting knowledge, so consequently, your coach does not need to have prior knowledge about your job or specialism in order to support you. A coach works through questioning rather than advising or telling and are looking to unlock your potential to achieve. Most people need support to remove barriers that are holding them back from being more successful and there is always another level. Think back to Andy Murray!
Benefits of Coaching
Coaching is positive, it’s not about what you can’t do, it’s about what you can. Most people see a difference in themselves (or often other people see the difference) almost immediately. You have your own personal cheerleader who only wants and sees the best in you and your coach has no emotional or work relationship involvement with you, so you can explore situations and feelings honestly and openly which is really refreshing and provides clarity in a busy world. And of course the sessions are confidential, freeing you up to be vulnerable, cry, explore emotions and practise potential scenarios without any repercussions. It’s very cathartic!
Taking Action
Coaching is about moving forward and therefore taking action is imperative. You will work with your coach to concoct a range of possible actions and then you will decide which is best to take forward to move you towards your long term aims. Getting those actions done makes small steps in the right direction, but the impact can be huge, filtering into many aspects of your life that you haven’t even been discussing with your coach. It’s literally life changing. In addition, you have someone holding you accountable, and for many, this aspect of coaching is what drives them, at least initially. At some point in the process, the need for accountability shifts and the coachee starts motoring on their own.
Why Get a Coach?
When I talk about coaching, people often say “Wow it sounds like everyone needs a coach!” and in many ways this is true. Here are some scenarios where coaching would help:
- You are thinking of promotion, but you are not sure of yourself;
- You want to be recognised as a good leader;
- You have a challenging new role and need someone to support you;
- You are having problems in areas that you don’t normally and it’s impacting everything;
- You have had a major life change and need help adjusting;
- You want to try something new, but you are not sure how to go about it.
Actually, the list could go on, but I think we have a collective mindset in the UK that if you ask for help, something must be wrong, when actually, everything can be great, you just want it to be excellent!
Coaching is amazing. Embrace the opportunity to invest in yourself—it could be one of the best decisions you ever make.